I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
