Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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