my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
