So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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