she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
