the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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