i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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