As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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