how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Church boner. Awkwardddd
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
