it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You're a waste of cheezeits
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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