Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
