bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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