At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
