why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
