I'm drive I can fine osifer
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
