Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize