her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
