I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
