I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
