His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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