Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast