this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
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at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis