I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.