C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died