did you get engaged???
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?