He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
