I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
