May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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