nut hugger
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
