I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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