i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
