it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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