He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
