Kiss
Puke
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
