sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
