my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
