Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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