don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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