I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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