North Korea, Best Korea!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so let's talk penis.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
