saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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