I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
