just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
