based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize