How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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