how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
