I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
