I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
