is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
