Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
