Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wish I only lived at night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
