guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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