Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
two words: eviction party
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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