I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
