Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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