He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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