I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
