so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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