I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
