I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
