Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize