i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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