one might say we're banned from that church
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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