You're so nebulous sometimes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think your dad took our porno
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
