Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she smelled like a LAN party
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
