Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
