similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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