So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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