I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
