I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
