no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
