I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
