Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So squirting runs in the family.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
