Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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